Dear Ashley
by Not A Droid
Summary: Post-Lauren story. Emily sent a letter to Seaver. What does it say?


_Disclaimer: I own nothing and no copyright infringement is intended._

_A/N: this is the result of a peristent plot bunny;takes place after Lauren_

* * *

Ashley Seaver was sitting at her desk. She didn't know Emily Prentiss very long. Not as long as Dave Rossi did. Not as long as the rest of the team either, but she felt the emptiness of Emily not being there any more. It was as if ….

She wasn't sure what it was like. Prentiss wasn't entirely like anyone Ashley had ever met. Ashley couldn't help but think about something Rossi had said. He made the point Seaver could be the most objective about Prentiss. Should she have known something was wrong?

_Shouldn't_ she have known?

What was she doing there? It wasn't the first time she asked that question of herself. Agents had to work hard and achieve great things to get to the BAU. She was just a cadet. She didn't belong here. She was out of her depth. She failed the team.

She failed Emily.

She was thinking about that, when she saw the envelope in her in-box. It was addressed to her. It took her a moment to recognize the handwriting on the envelope. It was Emily's.

What the hell?

She sat there, just looking at it. She was afraid to open it.

Emily sent it to me, she thought. She was going after Doyle, and she sent this to me. Why? What was going through her head?

Only one way to find out.

Ashley opened the letter.

_Dear Ashley,_

_I don't know if I'm going to send this letter._

_This letter is an admission of defeat in a lot of ways. It means I'm admitting the real probability that I will not survive what comes next. Accepting that is dangerous. Once you accept that, you start helping your opponent defeat you. The thing is, though, sometimes you have to lose battles to win wars. So I will admit to the possibility of defeat for the bigger victory. _

_Whatever happens with me and Ian Doyle, the team will go on. I haven't done a good job of mentoring you lately. You deserve better mentoring than this, but this is all I can do for you right now._

_First and foremost, you belong here. I know you are here under unorthodox circumstances. It doesn't matter. Hotch wouldn't keep you on if he didn't think you were right for this team. Don't let his hard as nails demeanor fool you. He really isn't by the book. He knows what this job needs and he cares about results more than mindless adherence to rules and protocols. Notice, I said mindless. Rules that matter he will follow and insist you follow. _

_What I am doing right now is to protect you. I know it will look like I don't trust the team, but it isn't. If I involve you in this, Ian Doyle will kill you. I have to protect you as good as I can. I wish there was a better way to do it. However this turns out, study it. Learn what all of us could have done better. That's how we become both better people and better agents._

_I was once like you. I felt overwhelmed. I felt out of my depth. Trust your instincts. Ask questions. As you go along, you will learn. You will learn from your victories and you will learn from your mistakes. You can learn from other people. No matter what, though always believe there is hope._

_I need you to stay on this team. You see, whether you know it or not, you are my replacement. Don't be scared. If I didn't think you could do it, I wouldn't be writing this letter to you._

_Penelope will need you to talk to her. She needs a woman to talk to. In many ways, she will be the little girl you always sees the beauty in things. That is one thing she needs to be able to hold onto. You can help her, just by letting her talk to you. Let her be your friend. Trust her._

_Morgan needs someone to help keep his ego in check. Every so often, you need to remind him that Derek Morgan is merely a man, not a god. You can do it and still be kind to him. He's going to be hurt I didn't confide in him. I need you to help him understand it was the only way I knew to protect him. It was me trying to have his back._

_Now we come to Dr. Reid. Ashley, Dr. Reid is one of our greatest assets. There is only one thing you need to do for him. Listen to him. He needs to talk. His mind is unlike any you will ever encounter and sometimes he has so much going on inside it spills out. Just listen to him. Be patient and be kind. In so many ways he is like a kid who needs validation. Believe me, he just needs someone to listen to him every so often without cutting him off. My biggest regret about this whole affair is that I will be just one more person who abandoned him. In the short term, he will need the most compassion._

_I hope I survive. But if I don't, you need to take my place. This isn't just my team. This is my family, and you have to help them carry on. I know its unfair to ask you to do it. But as you know, life is seldom fair. _

_If it was, the BAU wouldn't need to exist._

_Emily_

Ashley looked at the letter. She read it over several times. When she put it away, she saw Dr. Reid. He still looked like a child whose dog just died. She thought about the letter. She knew the best way to honor Emily's passing was to honor what she wrote in the letter.

She got up, walked over to Reid's desk, and said"Hey, I'm getting some coffee, do you want some?"

"You don't have to, you know, get me coffee."

"I know. I was just asking."

"Is that what Emily told you to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"In the letter?"

"What letter?"

"The letter she wrote you."

"How did you know?"

"I'm the one who put it in your in box."

"I don't understand."

"Someone recognized the handwriting and routed it to evidence.. I routed it back."

"Why?"

"I had a mentor here once, by the name of Jason Gideon. He ...he left. Without explanation. It just happened. He left me a letter, explaining why he did it. Reading it helped. Reading that letter will help you."

"Did she...I mean, she knew you longer, did she send you a letter too?"

Reid smiled. "I don't need one."

'But, "

Reid stood up, and place his hand on her shoulder. "Gideon only wrote me because I was the only one who would take it personally."

"But she knew she might die."

"I know. And as much as I wish I had the chance to say goodbye, I know why she did what she did. I'm going to miss her, but what we have to do now is do what she would do."

"What's that?"

"Be the best people and agents we can be. That's all you have to do."

"What if that's not enough?"

"It will be. Just trust yourself."

"Thank you."

"We have to be here for each other. It's the best way to honor her memory."


End file.
